Ok I have finally figured out how to do this...basically it is done using a selector like the color selector linked by style except instead of 'color' use a drawable for the states and you can refer to the default list drawable that is used in ListView by this:
<selector xmlns:android="http://schemas.android.com/apk/res/android">
<item android:state_pressed="true"
android:drawable="@android:drawable/list_selector_background" />
</selector>
and using this xml as the background for my View.
All the public default drawables can be found here: http://developer.android.com/reference/android/R.drawable.html
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